The last post was a bit of a bomb-shell. It’s been really difficult deciding to publish the news. The whole thing has been a bit difficult, really. I have spent three and a half long and hard years working towards this summer, and now it has been put off for another year. The decision wasn’t made lightly, and I got a lot of support from everyone – the people who were more brilliant that I expected them to be were my personal tutor and senior tutor. As someone who is “going to get a first”, in the words of my tutor, going up to them and saying “I can’t do it this year” feels like a massive failure.
That said, if anybody is in the position I was in back in February – where getting up to go to lectures felt too difficult, in fact, getting up at all was quite a mission, and my project was just going nowhere – then I would thoroughly recommend looking at what I did. I realise you don’t actually know what happened, so cliff-notes version.
The stress of final year, combined with other, more personal stuff, started getting to me. I went to the doctor after a solid month of not wanting to get up in the morning (very unusual for me, I am usually up at the crack of dawn) and told them I thought I needed help. A few things were tried out, and in the end they recommended that I take an interruption of studies. In typical Corrie style, I hadn’t told my parents that I was having so much trouble, so after a very quick intervention, a couple of months living in a room in Tizard Hall, and a lot of advice from various people, the steps were taken and it was all confirmed at the beginning of May.
I’m now working as a temp, doing administration, filling my days and trying to get my head to a good place again. I’m also getting impromptu folk lessons from my flatmate, which is really cool. Quartet stuff is going very well, and I have a few posts about things I’ve done with my friends that have been incredible over the last few months still to write. For now, have some cake.