…but I can’t seem to help it. I was just thinking how I had been posting consistently negative comments recently (sort of – I thought I was being positive about the british government making me the only person who is). So I’d resolved to post something happy and sunny. But then reality struck as I woke this morning.
Last night I had a full on nightmare about my exams. I arrived late to the exam, and it was in an old time classroom, with those desk/bench combos – I had to squeeze into the centre of a row and when I started the paper it was all dark and I couldn’t read the words, like I badly needed glasses. I managed to finish a question, but then the invigilator (the MBA Programme Manager) said time was up for the first section, but I had not finished by a long way. The next section was impossibly hard – I had to translate loads of binary numbers into english which I didn’t even know we were supposed to know how to do. And my eyesight was still really bad. I ended up bursting into tears and flinging my standard issue calculator across the room, and storming out complaining, at which point a friend of mine I haven’t seen since sixth form turned up to console me.
It actually isn’t too far from the truth in terms of my feelings of preparedness. I have four exams over the 2.5 weeks: finance, micro and macro economics, and accounting. They are very much my weaker areas. Anyway – I better get back to work. It’s good to be challenged, and it’ll all be fine. I think I’ve set impossibly high standards for myself and if I just get some perspective I’ll be fine.