For the second time, today I went into college with accumulated bags and bits and equipment, and found I’d left my college card at home. Grr! Just about to head out again after carb’ing up at home again and resting while blogging.
I’m nearing the start of the second week of my placement at a TV production company. Hard to believe I’ve done just four days… and I say that because the majority of the work has been rather similar, and intensely desk-based. I doubt they read my blog, but I’ll avoid naming names. A friend pointed out that we’re only at these places for four weeks, equalling 20 days, so technically I’m a fifth of the way through.
Generally, the one thing we’re definitely getting from these placements is a taste of a real ‘media company’ workplace. Other than that, I didn’t really know what to expect… and I don’t think the person in charge of me knew what to expect, either. I think I’ve tripped myself up by trying to be too earnest and, well, ‘cheerful-me’ like when talking to the boss-person, because I think they really misunderstood some things I said in an attempt to be frank and honest (I now know exactly how Anne Hathaway’s idealistic-journalist character felt when she was being interviewed for a position at a fashion magazine in The Devil Wears Prada, by the lofty Meryl Streep), and so I don’t think they have a very good view of me so far and at one point it was wondered out loud whether I should really be there or not. That’s all I’ll say now- look at my last post for things I have therefore learned so far.
To be honest, I still feel in a bit of a funk, probably post-exam malaise, combined with personal pressures, and not being able to go into college to classes where I’d normally see welcoming friends and acquaintances every day. It’s like I got separated from college life back at the end of March, and I’ve no business there until June when the final project will begin. So what do I do, where am I? Plus, I’m really quite envious of the modules that the sci-comm students are taking this term, especially the ones to do with print journalism and website design, especially as I have no clue how to build a website and have a ton of photos / writings from my travelling times stored away somewhere.
Sometimes I see status updates on facebook indicating other acquaintances are starting interesting sounding Phds, or jobs, or going on holiday, and I sort of wonder what I’m doing and where I’m going, and why I chose this and whether I’m being entirely unrealistic about it all (okay, the 4 days of work have indeed had more effect on me than they should’ve). I wonder things like why did I leave science, why am I so tired, what should I do today, what’s the best use of my time, am I making little things into big deals, what’s wrong with my mood of late, maybe I should press harder to be noticed at the workplace, maybe I shouldn’t complain, maybe I should find new stuff to do… In the meantime, I don’t really feel inspired to work on new stuff, whether articles, or artwork, or documentary ideas, but I know I have to make myself do it in case the process of trying gets me out of the rut. Still, this is a very weird feeling point in the course. I guess my brain is never tired of throwing up quarter-life crisises.
Oh, yeah, and:
One good thing about Imperial: The library cafe has great food and is a good spot for nabbing a computer for a short while. Mmm delicious chocolate muffins… economic baked potatoes with chilli and cheese…
One bad thing about Imperial: I really hate the eco-friendly toilets where you have a choice of two buttons, and you have to hold the button down to prolong the flush. First, a surprising amount of people don’t bother to hold the button down despite nearby warning signs, and so selecting one of the toilets in the Humanities block becomes like a gross case of Russian roulette as the day wears on, and second, does the smaller second button mean more or less water, considering it’s smaller size but meaningful second position? It baffles my mind, and they say I’m supposed to be intelligent.