My placement ended. And yes, it ended prematurely, and not under particularly good circumstances.

Now I have a week before meetings next week begin. These meetings will be about our forthcoming documentary projects this summer. I’m… lacking in essential things right now to be a successful, competitive student, but I still vaguely hope I can make something a bit offbeat and weird. I’ll just pretend to be Tim Burton or Charlie Kaufman. It’ll give purpose to my inner monologues, and I will save time by never having to brush my hair again.

I’ve become joint creative designer for an exciting forthcoming project- Robogals! Robogals is a student-borne scheme that began in Melbourne last year, aimed to get young girls interested and involved in robotics, technology, and engineering. So all cool with me I wish I were an engineer… as a brief microbiologist when doing a final year project, I never felt in control of the experiments I was doing. I spread microbial organisms I couldn’t see upon plates of sterile agar jelly, seeded the jelly with other factors, then sat back and conceded that nature was in control here, not me, I was just a spectator to see whether they felt like growing or not, or if the results could be called on to slightly prove anything which couldn’t really be undoubtedly proved in the long run anyway. I imagine at least engineers don’t fear, say, their screws abruptly dying on them, or their plans so at the mercy of nature.

Robogals is just getting started in London, but there will be a Robo Gala in Hyde Park, open to everyone who wants to come along and be part of a spectacular performance. That’s on the 11th July… Then there’s also a Robo Gala After Party on the 16th July, hosted by the Ministry of Sound and again, open to everyone! Details on tickets soon…

For the second time, today I went into college with accumulated bags and bits and equipment, and found I’d left my college card at home. Grr! Just about to head out again after carb’ing up at home again and resting while blogging.

I’m nearing the start of the second week of my placement at a TV production company. Hard to believe I’ve done just four days… and I say that because the majority of the work has been rather similar, and intensely desk-based. I doubt they read my blog, but I’ll avoid naming names. A friend pointed out that we’re only at these places for four weeks, equalling 20 days, so technically I’m a fifth of the way through.

Generally, the one thing we’re definitely getting from these placements is a taste of a real ‘media company’ workplace. Other than that, I didn’t really know what to expect… and I don’t think the person in charge of me knew what to expect, either. I think I’ve tripped myself up by trying to be too earnest and, well, ‘cheerful-me’ like when talking to the boss-person, because I think they really misunderstood some things I said in an attempt to be frank and honest (I now know exactly how Anne Hathaway’s idealistic-journalist character felt when she was being interviewed for a position at a fashion magazine in The Devil Wears Prada, by the lofty Meryl Streep), and so I don’t think they have a very good view of me so far and at one point it was wondered out loud whether I should really be there or not.  That’s all I’ll say now- look at my last post for things I have therefore learned so far.

To be honest, I still feel in a bit of a funk, probably post-exam malaise, combined with personal pressures, and not being able to go into college to classes where I’d normally see welcoming friends and acquaintances every day. It’s like I got separated from college life back at the end of March, and I’ve no business there until June when the final project will begin. So what do I do, where am I? Plus, I’m really quite envious of the modules that the sci-comm students are taking this term, especially the ones to do with print journalism and website design, especially as I have no clue how to build a website and have a ton of photos / writings from my travelling times stored away somewhere.

Sometimes I see status updates on facebook indicating other acquaintances are starting interesting sounding Phds, or jobs, or going on holiday, and I sort of wonder what I’m doing and where I’m going, and why I chose this and whether I’m being entirely unrealistic about it all (okay, the 4 days of work have indeed had more effect on me than they should’ve). I wonder things like why did I leave science, why am I so tired, what should I do today, what’s the best use of my time, am I making little things into big deals, what’s wrong with my mood of late, maybe I should press harder to be noticed at the workplace, maybe I shouldn’t complain, maybe I should find new stuff to do… In the meantime, I don’t really feel inspired to work on new stuff, whether articles, or artwork, or documentary ideas, but I know I have to make myself do it in case the process of trying gets me out of the rut.  Still, this is a very weird feeling point in the course.  I guess my brain is never tired of throwing up quarter-life crisises.

Oh, yeah, and:

One good thing about Imperial: The library cafe has great food and is a good spot for nabbing a computer for a short while. Mmm delicious chocolate muffins… economic baked potatoes with chilli and cheese…

One bad thing about Imperial: I really hate the eco-friendly toilets where you have a choice of two buttons, and you have to hold the button down to prolong the flush. First, a surprising amount of people don’t bother to hold the button down despite nearby warning signs, and so selecting one of the toilets in the Humanities block becomes like a gross case of Russian roulette as the day wears on, and second, does the smaller second button mean more or less water, considering it’s smaller size but meaningful second position? It baffles my mind, and they say I’m supposed to be intelligent.

1. Watch loads of TV.

2. Never admit to not watching loads of TV. Prepare names, synopses, and gushing enthusiasm for as many as possible.

3. Be jolly but never jokingly self-deprecating.

4. Forget your academic CV, even if it possesses media-related degrees from Imperial College.

5. Develop a really, really thick skin.

6. Get a pleasant phone voice / talking voice.

7. There cannot be enough gushing about the company in question.

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(Annabel partially got her groove back after a weekend at her parents house, but may have lost it again. She is currently compiling a list of the most pesky things about Imperial, to be balanced by the list of most likeable things about Imperial. She’s also learning some really rather uncomfortable lessons).

Soon I hope to write a post titled, ‘How Annabel Got Her Groove Back’, once she does. Currently she is in a bit of a slump…

This week classes for the third term resumed for the science communication students, while us Science Media Productionists are going to our placements. I have a placement with what looks to be a good company- once I found the correct website, I was happy to see programmes and series that I’d heard of on their production list. Sometimes I think I’m a bit too lax on the old media research for a student who hopes to make interesting communication material, I didn’t watch British TV for the 20 months I was away and I like to read a lot. Anyway, the placement will start next week. Not allowed to talk about what’s in development at the company, very exciting, but perhaps I’ll find a way of politely discussing the office workings.

Owing to certain depressing developments, I’m also looking for a new place to live. Again, I face the frightening business of seeking private housing, viewing rooms, meeting people, lowering my standards, and fielding weird emails from peculiar sounding landlords. I’m not sure if this is the cause or contributor to my gloom, or whether it’s really wholly borne of a more personal-relationship matter, either way, I’m not enjoying the search and it’s scarcely begun. I don’t feel capable of fighting for a weekly rent under 100, which makes me easy prey. Sod it, I think. I’ll just get a job. I’ll sell my junk on Ebay. Securing a new place before I’m stuck into the placement would be nice.

I notice a lot of people seem to have finished exams at Imperial. There’s a nice summery feel about people hanging round Queens quad, chatting with relief post-exam, or just hanging out. Some event is being set up, so they’ve put a massive white marquee up, kind of spoiling the summery feel. The air is full of floating orangey fluff and seeds, drifts of the stuff lying by the roadsides and in the back of my nose. There’s a good line-up for the Summer Ball- I’d happily go happily mental over Pendulum- yet I don’t think most PG’s are into the Balls, and I’m a bit leery of turning up alone, since there’s always that pesky little voice crying inside during such situations. But I guess I don’t have a lot to report about Imperial… not until I get some energy back and get involved in life again.