Archive for November, 2011

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

Just trying to put together a C.V and job application. I have major anxiety and fear over doing these, now. In trying to construct it, I tell myself- if I just put this like so, and move this section there, and write the golden secret sequence of words in my covering letter, then

then unless you get it wrong, there’s really no reason why you shouldn’t have a chance… right??

The prospect makes me freeze up now. A recruiter sent me a link to a job opportunity the other day. It was not the goblet of delicious hope and interest that a job opening should be. Instead it was a glass half-empty with liquid lacklustre with jagged chips in the brim. Nothing to do with the job. It was that a despairing whisper said, ‘What’s the point? I’ll never get it.’

But a person is not permitted to give up, not despite a recession, not anything. I have to roll on. So I’m just trying to redo my CV. Some of the stuff- well okay, 80% of the stuff is getting really outdated. I wish there were not these big gaps where all I did was waitressing or scraps of voluntary work. I feel too old for my level of experience. My CV is more suited to a fresh younger graduate of university.

Still, the main thing on my mind is that my bike got stolen recently. I’d become really confident in the U-lock I kept it locked with. Also the bike was old, and used to have conspicuously awful pink wheels, so was not prime stealing material. Damn. I loved that thing. I dragged it all the way from the West Midlands to Norwich to London. Once I left it locked outside South Kensington station and Victoria Gardens for nearly 2 months. She was a good steed, and the scruffier she looked, the more camouflaged she was, I thought. But the moral is, don’t take your bike to the worser parts of London and expect no one will bother to fetch a tool and cut off the lock. I locked her up outside a station, in view of CCTV, close to the station office. Didn’t matter one whit. I’ve been a fool, and I’ve lost my transport.

Amazingly, it’s nearly December. Getting Christmassy will seem a bit forced this year.

Neutrinos still appear to be faster than light.

l’ve got the blues again, mildly. Maybe I have SAD? But I can have blue days in spring and summer, too. It’s awful. Depression is like someone coming into your head and rearranging your thoughts so that you think differently- and you don’t see why you should think any other differently. Why on earth would anyone wander around feeling sad and feeling sad about feeling sad? What a waste of time. Wishing for an end to the sadness when there’s no magic wand- who are you kidding? What do you want? But that’s how it goes. When my head gets above the water and I see how darkly I’ve been thinking, I’m quite appalled. Still, it’s not too bad, just lingering. I’m still doing my work and functioning okay, so it’s not terminal.

Went to the Synthetic Bio Symposium at Imperial recently. There were some very interesting lectures. I felt like a fraud for being there, though. I didn’t enjoy being back in the College. Imperial is a world that I’m not part of, full of young people studying complex academic subjects with ambition and fervor. I may well be a student again next year, but for now, I don’t know what I am. Jealous of the students, quite a lot. Very jaded and at the same time, terribly uncertain. I don’t have the income to go out and consume in London, to pretend to be living the cosmopolitan twentysomething life. I don’t have a career. Good grief.

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
“What would we say to ourselves? What would we learn from ourselves? What would we really like to see if we could stand outside our selves- and look at us?”
Often, in film, bad science is not only permitted, but specifically created, to fuel action plots. Plants, sick of being stepped on by the human race, release human-specific psychotropic hormones to get rid of us (The Happening). People drill to the centre of the Earth to set off a bomb and save the planet’s rotation (The Core). Stuff explodes, again and again and again, just so our noble heroes have something to outrun in slow motion (here I was going to point the finger at Transformers but I guess most action films have to share the blame).

This does not necessarily matter. I’m not the sort to forge vengeful letters to the filmmakers in the belief that innocent people are really taking this sort of science seriously. I actually suspect that much of the anger thrown at the bad science is actually a side effect of being force-fed a disappointing action plot with too many explosions and too many manly one-liners falling flat. So it’s much more refreshing when a film comes along that is cerebral, quiet, and clear, and does not even attempt to justify the science it portrays. The science is secondary to the intelligent concept driving the film- the story. Another Earth is one of these films.

Brit Marling is Rhoda, a young woman at the focus of this story of parallel lives. At the beginning of the film, she is 17 and driving home from a party where she has been celebrating her acceptance to study astrophysics at MIT. As she says, of her young self at this point in time- “Anything felt possible. And it was.” But this infinite possibility is changed forever by a terrible tragedy that she is responsible for. Listening to a radio broadcast about a newly discovered planet, Rhoda drives her car straight into another, killing most of the family inside.

Four years on, Rhoda lives an existence shaped by the events of that night. She is not studying at MIT, but has just been released from prison. She doesn’t want to have to think, or talk, or be around people too much. She takes a job at a local school as a janitor. She secretly visits the surviving husband and father of the car crash, and one day, knocks on his door. He doesn’t know her, and Rhoda struggles to tell him.

But the other planet is still out there, still on the news broadcasts, still being debated, investigated, speculated about. Even living as she is now, an uneasy, quiet figure silently consumed by guilt, the other planet is still a part of Rhoda’s life and thoughts. In a scene that elicits shivers, a scientist finally makes contact with the other planet- and finds that she is speaking to herself. For this other planet is more than similar to Earth. It is a parallel Earth.

Another Earth. Another night like that one. Where were you, four years ago? What did you do? How is it that you are here, now, living as you do in the present? If you had done something different that night, what sort of life could you be living now, instead?

Another Earth is startling in its style of film and music. It has a documentary-feel to it, a realism that lends deep sympathy to all of the characters. Ostensibly it is a film about another planet, but instead makes itself into a film about a personal world, and a personal tragedy. The music and sound effects are spine-tingling and immersive, pushing us closer into the experience of Rhoda’s world. The plot never morphs into a Slider-style plot of pointing fingers and breathless chases, but remains a emotional, personal story of individuals and our attempts to live with our present selves. The director, Mike Cahill, has produced a masterpiece, and at times dialogue felt superfluous- Brit Marling could express a world of emotion with just a look in her eyes.

This is a sad, quiet, but intriguing film. Its power is not in clever special-effects, or Hollywood bathos. It is the quiet, haunting idea of what would happen if another you became a reality.

Another Earth will be released in the UK on the 2nd December, 2011.

Monday, November 14th, 2011
With a personal interest in physics and a need to write some science articles, I went along to the Institute of Physics last week to attend an award for physics communicators. The event was free and open to all. After the event I wrote this, which I’ll repost here while looking for another outlet to send it to.
Communicating physics is an art, said Dr. Martyn Bull, scientist at the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory and chair of the very first Institute of Physics Early Physics Communicator Awards, which took place on the 8th of November at the London Institute of Physics (IOP). If that’s true, then the four finalists were modern masters with very different styles.

The IOP Very Early Career Physics Communicators Award award was set up to encourage and reward innovation in science communication in new physicists. Whittled down from an original group of 26 communicators, the four finalists presented their case for the award and prize money of £250 in energetic, ten-minute bursts of speech and slides. The finalists were Dr. Aude Alapini-Odulade of Exeter University, Martin Archer of Imperial College London, Rhys Phillips of the European Aeronautic Defence and Space Company (EADS), and Dr. Suzie Sheehy of the Rutherford Apple Laboratory.

Alok Jha, science correspondent for The Guardian, opened the event by casting forth his own perspective on science communication in the media. He aspires for a world where science would be something people would miss hearing about, if science reporting should stop, and where the economic impact of science doesn’t need to be the most popular point of communicators and politicians. With increased non-scientist participation and discussion on cutting edge scientific discoveries in the blogosphere and The Guardian itself, he reflected that this is an “interesting time” for science communication.

The first finalist, Dr. Aude Alapini Odunlade, stepped up to the podium. Aude is a former Associate Research Fellow in Astrophysics at the University of Exeter, currently in training to become a teacher. In a dizzyingly fast talk, Aude whirled us from her past and present life as an enthusiastic astrophyicist and science communicator, to her work in Benin, West Africa. 2006 had been the year of a solar eclipse in Benin, an event which Aude, as a Masters student at the Paris Observatory, had seized as an excellent research project opportunity for her class. Along with a group of 25 people, Aude travelled to Africa to do her final project on the eclipse. Here she saw an opportunity to engage the local community and schools, by discussing the mythology and cultural beliefs of the solar eclipse, and then engaging them in the scientific explanations behind it. Aude returned to Benin for the 2007 lunar eclipse to continue her impact there, and has fundraised $3000 to buy scientific equipment for schools. Alongside engagement, inspiration, and friendship, Aude’s work has a further key concept- accessibility. She has spurred partnership and dialogue between schools in Benin, France, and the UK, opening up the chance to share research, communication, and scientific experiments between different countries. This work includes the development of a science and communication centre in the local town of Savalou, with internet links which not only provide communication and participation from students, but also provide training for Beninese teachers in how to use scientific equipment in their lessons.

Next up was Martin Archer, PhD student in space physics at Imperial College London. For the record, rock star physicists are out. DJ physicists are in. Martin leads a double life as a scientist who researches the magnetosphere, and as a DJ with regular weekday slots on Kiss FM. But this dual expertise has presented him with the perfect inspiration for his brand of science outreach. Martin has created DJ Physics, a live show that uses a virtual DJ booth as a platform to explain concepts in physics to school students, alongside dramatic demos. With an eye for appropriate but unusual analogies, Martin makes his science communication powerfully relevant and memorable. He has, for example, developed interactive exhibits such as the ‘elastic band’ magnetosphere experiment at this year’s Royal Society’s Summer Science Exhibition, and produced science videos featuring strange sights as himself throwing peanuts at a campfire to explain how scientists detect hidden planets. He has created Droppin’ Science podcasts to package physics and music, written articles, and appeared on news channels as a science consultant, riding on a wave of over 2000 followers on Facebook and Twitter. Martin is a tour de force of modern media, personality, and presentation power.

The third contender was Rhys Phillips, a research engineer for EADS who specialised in lightning strikes on planes. This modest-seeming man proceeded to reveal a string of science communication activities in the manner of an absentminded magician producing yet another scarf from the hat. Through voluntary work at local schools in Cardiff, Rhys had realised that many students had no idea what distinguished physics from the general field of ‘science’. Nor did they know what kinds of jobs a physics degree could lead to. In response, he developed a school workshop for the Monmouth Science Initiative. The Lego challenge is a hands-on workshop for schoolchildren that takes them through the steps of an engineering project, from planning, budgeting, building, testing, and to debriefing. Rhys is strongly involved in voluntary work as a STEM Ambassador for STEMNET, and presents physics communication at many schools, always tailoring his presentations to suit each audience. He regularly features STEM Ambassadors on his weekly science show for Radio Cardiff, Pythagoras’ Trousers, and these ambassadors are often requested for school appearances by teachers. This is in addition to taking part in an online science engagement competition, volunteering for the Big Bang Roadshow, science festivals, and setting up the Cardiff Science Festival. By the time Rhys has mentioned starting a live stage show, Pythagorean Cabaret, anything seems possible.

Wrapping up the event came finalist and particle physicist Dr. Suzie Sheehy, vowing to explain 10 years of her life in 10 minutes. Suzie was deviated from the path of structural engineering by a stimulating lecturer, Dr. Roger Rassool, whose philosophy she sums up in a memorable quote- “I’m not here to teach you. I’m here to entertain and inspire you.”  While studying at the University of Melbourne, Suzie became a presenter for The Science and Laser Show, a travelling 45 minute show of physics and lasers for primary schoolchildren. The combination of performance, teamwork, and inspiration changed her forever. Alongside her PhD at Oxford University, Suzie developed Accelerate!, an interactive stage show about the science behind particle accelerators for students of 11 and up.  The show was a powerful success in inspiring both schoolchildren and the scientists themselves in physics and physics communication, with glowing feedback, and had reached an audience of 5000 after two years. Accelerate! has featured at major science events such as the British Science Festival and Big Bang Fair, and continues to be an official fixture of Oxford University. Suzie is now developing her skills in presenting as a regional finalist for Famelab 2011, blogging, and has created her own new public lecture, ‘Accelerated Dreams’.

But there could be only one winner. Or could there? After a final discussion, the judges announced two winners, who would both receive the full cash prize from the IOP. The winners were Rhys Phillips, for his range of activities and initiative in starting new ones, and Aude Alapini Odunlade, for her high impact and far-reaching scheme to support budding scientists and teachers. By the end of the event, the IOP had presented its audience with two winners, four impressive finalists, a lot of energy, and a lot of fun in physics. We do indeed live in interesting times.

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

This week I…

  • Have been plugging away at my part-time video logging job. It was okay until I accidentally read this piece about women working in finance or the City. After reading what each of them earned, I then had to lie down for about two hours, staring despairingly at the ceiling, trying to remember why I had thought milkround company jobs were distasteful and why I had never applied. The things I could do with that money. Once I proudly joined a Facebook group called ‘Hands off my soul- I refuse to prostitute myself to investment banking or management consultancy’. Now? I’m willing to hear negotiations.
  • Have been painting a big painting of lots of different animals. I have to say, painting animals is easy. Easy easy easy. No problem doing layers of colour and fur with a paintbrush. Would anyone pay me for that I wonder? How to make it happen?
  • Have been finding it hard to make applications. Unusually hard. I bookmark lots of pages and research companies. Then I feel the void of self-esteem, and my lack of success, and ker-plunk. I want to crawl into a corner and stop existing for a while.
  • Went in to sign forms for a data-entry job. I passed by one of the Occupy London meets. I felt like I should go join them. But there were people in suits with jobs walking around me. I also wanted to go join them. Not that I’ll be able to. I’m genuinely not sure if I can handle more interviews of that nature. I feel pretty whipped, to be honest. Really bloody whipped. If someone should ask me to justify why I want to work in marketing, I’d only be able to say- ‘Because I want to use my brain and I want a reliable job’. And in my head I’d already be gearing up for the rejection email.
  • Feeling very, very, alone. I think the rest of my acquaintances and friends have jobs.
  • Looking into other science postgrad courses. I have one offer already. I must admit that the job insecurity of research science, combined with the long hours and incredulously low pay, kind of resemble the rough deal I landed in here with media / science communication. So I need to cast-iron my resolve to do it all. I have a lot of biochemistry notes to re-read.
Well, it’s the 5th of November. I’ll be off to find some fireworks with the boyfriend.